Bad Belt

I have always held a prejudice against knitted accessories, with the possible exception of felted purses.  Most knitted accessories are not as hideous as the infamous jeans embellishment featured at the top of the Knitting Misconceptions page, and no knitting project really looks bad compared to that.  Even this.



I would not call that belt stylish, but then again, it's about what I would expect people in the high tech industry to call stylish.  It goes right along with the indiscriminate mixing of browns and blacks, monochrome outfits, ancient shirts, oversized shirts, white socks with black shoes, never wearing anything but T-shirts, etc.  I realize I'm antagonizing at least fifty per cent of my friends and readers, but honestly, people, get some basic style sense.  A step away from the pictured belt is a step in the right direction.

Anyway, as I said before, no knitted accessory is really going to look good.  I especially don't see the point in knitted belts.  Knitting, for those of you who do not knit, stretches.  A lot.  This is why I don't want to knit a purse; I know the straps would stretch like crazy.  This is also why when I knit tops that I want to be form-fitting, I knit them slightly smaller than the completed measurement should be; so they will stretch to fit right.  Anyway, if you want a knitted belt to fit right, it'd have to be stretched enough that you would, over time, damage the fabric.  Also, I don't think I trust knitted fabric to hold up to the pressure of a buckle or belt loops rubbing on it all the time.  It's like the heels of socks inevitably wearing out.  Only with socks at least you just have a cold spot on your foot instead of your pants falling down.  Which reminds me, I don't think I'd trust a knitted belt to hold up something as relatively heavy as pants.  In other words, don't wear a knitted belt if you actually need a belt.

Another problem with knitted belts is that, like knitted ties, if you want to loop them, they become inconveniently bulky.   I realize this doesn't apply to many people reading this, but typically, when I have on a belt, it's because I'm at work and thusly have on a tool belt and a wrench tied to my belt loop.  A lump of fabric would get in the way of both.

Moving on to the aesthetics of the belt, I don't think changing the color would help.  It still has that braided look, which, let's face it, was never cool.  I don't care what the magazines say.  Braided belts belong with tapered, pleated, and cuffed khaki pants—in the trash.  Besides, the braided pattern of that belt means it's that much bulkier, which becomes even more annoying with small belt loops.

You know, it's not hard to look good.  I usually look at least okay.  Between paying a minimal amount of attention and using my own common sense, I might go so far as to say I usually look pretty good.  There's a simple reason for that:  I would never ever ever wear a belt like that.  Much as I do not own sweat pants or granny panties, I also do not own such a belt.  I like to think there's a chance what I'm wearing will get complimented.  A belt like that in all probability never would.  Much like knitted underwear—which I will not feature in Bad Knitting due to sheer terror—it's an outfit ruiner, a reputation destroyer, and a date ender all in one.





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